ENOUGH IS ENOUGH !

I make no bones about it - I'm a committed smoker, and have been for years. Yes, yes, I know it's a 'filthy habit', and that I shouldn't be inflicting my smoke on non-smokers (which I try not to do) and that it's bad for my health, blah-de-blah-de-bloody-blah.

Non-smokers say that we smokers cost the NHS so many thousands of pounds, but I'd like to point out that the tax I've paid on my fags, over the years, is probably the price of two iron lungs ! And some left over for your knee replacements, your gastric bands, your breast augmentations and pace-makers !

Try looking at it from the smokers' point of view: smoking tobacco isn't illegal, and it wasn't flagged-up as a health-risk until around 1970 - in fact, the privileged boys of Eton were even taught how to smoke, as part of their curriculum!

Now, we smokers are pariahs! We've been banned from smoking in public places - restaurants, pubs, clubs - even train platforms and car-parks, which are in the open-air. And now there's even talk of banning smoking in parks! How ridiculous is that! You might as well ban cars from driving around the perimeters of parks because of exhaust emissions. (And that's probably a hundred times worse than the odd smoker having a quiet stroll.)

Every day, pubs all over the country, are closing. I'm convinced this is because of the smoking ban in pubs. Smokers don't want to stand outside - never mind your heaters. Why can't we have a ' smoking bar ' and a ' non-smoking bar ' ? Sorted !

In supermarkets now, the cigarettes and tobacco are swathed in plastic sheeting, so you can't browse what you want to buy, or compare prices.

IMAGINE THIS: you're thinking of buying a new dress, but they are all hidden from view. You say to the shop-assistant, ' I want to buy a dress. '

" What dress? "

" Erm, I don't know. Maybe a red dress . . . ? "

Shop-assistant, checking on her clip-board, " We have three red dresses, which one do you want ? "

" Can I see them? "

" No, you can't. "

It's just ridiculous! What other commodity is banned from public view? None! And does this stop people from smoking? I doubt it.

Alcohol is bad for you. Imagine if all the alcohol in supermarkets was covered with a plastic screen. You can't choose your wine, or beer, or bottle of spirits, because you can't see them! And you're not allowed to! Try buying your favourite tipple then!

Smokers have been targeted for the past ten years or so, and the next 'pariahs', believe you me, are going to be the overweight. We already have the sugar tax. Are we going to have the cake aisle, the biscuit shelves, the crisp stacks, shrouded in secrecy? Are you going to have to ask some snotty-nosed shop-assistant to slip you a six-pack of jam doughnuts, or a packet of chocolate Hob-Nobs?

NOW the Government has introduced plain packaging for cigarettes. (It's not enough that we can't see what we're buying, now, presumably we won't know what we're buying !) In a public consultation, 450,000 members of the public opposed this - twice the number of people who supported it.

I'm not sure what 'plain packaging' means . . . There's not much on a packet of cigarettes that you could cut out - except the manufacturer's name, and the health warnings. Are cigarette packets just going to be in white with FAGS printed on them? Who knows? But I do know this - that won't stop smokers from buying them.

Just leave us smokers alone! Please! We've had enough. And we've been compliant, and gone along with it. (No choice!)

We've even 'gone along' with not being able to smoke in other people's houses now, somehow justified by governmental rulings:- " Could you go out into the garden, if you want to smoke. " (Never mind that it's raining cats and dogs!) How rude and unwelcoming is that? Okay, non-smokers don't want smoke in their house, I understand that. But just open a window! Don't send your guests out into the gloom - we're not shooting-up - it's just a fag, for godsake!

IMAGINE THIS: you saying to your guests, " Could you go out into the garden, if you're going to eat that jam doughnut / drink that glass of wine? "

IMAGINE THIS: You go into a restaurant and order steak and chips, apple pie and cream, and the waiter says, " Could you just pop onto these scales for me please . . . ? Ooh, no, sorry. You can only have salad with a low cal dressing, and a yoghurt for your pudding. "

That sounds unbelievable. But it may come . . . And then all the fatties among us will be shouting - ENOUGH IS ENOUGH !